Totti, Totti, Totti
I remember watching the World Cup back in 2006. Italy won the tournament after Zinedine Zidane of France was sent off for headbutting Marco Materazzi in one of the most infamous moments modern football, er, soccer. The network must have thought Americans would get bored watching guys kick a ball around for 90 minutes, so they decided to scroll instant messages from worldwide fans across the bottom of the screen during several games.
Everyone remembers the headbutt and red card, but I remember a message on the screen. It was a Roma fan’s tribute to Italy’s beloved midfielder Francesco Totti that is forever etched in my memory. “Totti, Totti, Totti…We love him so much we name our dog Totti”. I don’t know what it was about this message of devotion to a piccolo cane italiano, but the little pooch earned a place in my heart. In my imagination, Totti is a gray Italian dachshund who loves to mangia soppressata. Oh Totti, ti amo.
I’m a day late. Already, my goal of therapy writing investment insights on a bi-weekly basis has gone the way of Monsieur Zidane – straight down the tunnel and into the locker room. But hey, rain or shine, we’re gonna walk Totti. Scrivi bene!
Before we get to the Totti of the matter, here’s a musical diversion that blew my mind. Seven Nation Army’s signature bass line is not from a bass guitar. It was actually played by Jack White on a Kay hollow-body guitar. According to Rick Beato, he used a DigiTech digital whammy pedal with the octave-down setting. Maybe I shouldn’t have been surprised. After all, Jack White is a masterful musician and the White Stripes were pretty much a drum/guitar duo. I never saw White Stripes live, so I had no reference point. Totti for you, my friend.
You like some Totti, you say? I think I have a couple of dividend ideas. Equity Commonwealth has a preferred yielding just below 6.5% and trades slightly less than the call price of $25. Equity Commonwealth was founded by the legendary Sam Zell to take advantage of commercial real estate bargains. Sadly, Zell passed away last year. Distress that he predicted in the industry was postponed due to all that pandemic juice. Present management sits on a cash pile of $2 billion and a handful of assets. They have said that if they can’t come up with a strategy to deploy the funds, they will wind down the business. The common is appealing, but the preferred is a fairly low risk way to park some cash.
A more adventurous dividend can be found in BCE, Inc. This is the old Canadian Bell. Like the AT&T of yore, it contains a lot of good (fiber optic and cellular networks, some tv networks), a lot of bad (legacy landlines, pension funds, debt), and some intangibles (37% of the Maple Leafs & Raptors, 20% of the Canadiens). The business is basically sound ($30 billion USD market cap) and the dividend is well-covered with a yield above 8.5%. The stock is down 50% since 2022 as government funds to boost the expansion of fiber optics networks were dialed back (pun for the boomers). They have curtailed capital expenditures and are laying off 9% of the workforce. I intend to do a deep dive on BCE because there may be some hidden value in a break-up and I like the positive Canadian demographic trend. I think you are adequately compensated for what is probably, at worst, a stagnant business. In a world of NVDA go up, 8.5% dividend checks sound like a snoozer but that’s where we be at. Vibes. 🔥
I took the Myers-Briggs test for the third time in my life yesterday. Wait for it. The first letter is an “I”. Shocking, I know. The rest of it actually was a surprise. I came in with an INTJ. Now, this made me well pleased. Uncle Warren is an INTJ. Zuckerberg, Musk? INTJ. F#%*ing Schwarzenegger is an INTJ! This is a small segment of the population. Rare air. Yes *silently pumps fist*.
I don’t recall exactly where I scored back when I took the M-B in my 20’s. I think it was INTP. Can’t remember. My Mom, a world-famous and passive-aggressive “I”, didn’t scrapbook those results. But this score contrasts sharply with my result from two years ago: INFP. I didn’t like that one. Too much feeling. Too many emotions. Now, it is true that some cool people are INFP’s. Creators. Bob Marley, John Lennon, Kurt Cobain, William Shakespeare, Johnny Depp. But not a lot of 4-star generals, Navy Seals, or NBA legends on that list. That’s probably not accurate. Dennis Rodman has got to be an INFP. You catch my drift here. Doris Kearns Goodwin isn’t pitching any biographies of INFPs to Penguin Classics. These are Oprah’s guests.
Questions naturally arise when you read the cast of characters. Did Arnold Schwarzenegger really sit for a Myers-Briggs exam? Did William Shakespeare truly prefer a quiet pub lunch with his mates to the crowded midsummer fayre? I am now on a search for the deeper meaning behind these two personality test results. INFP? INTJ? Who am I? Can I be both? Can I have Bob Marley’s soul and Zuckerberg’s bank account? It doesn’t work that way. Sorry. Or maybe it does? Maybe we are all coins with two sides? Janus with two faces. Jesters with two masks. Totti the man…Totti the dog.